Truth = Empowerment!

Another day of disappointment, and I realize that, this is just who he is.
Wow! How sad for him? He’d rather spend the whole day alone working and the night out in a titty bar, then be with me and my friends for the holiday. Again, how sad for him. My heart breaks just a little, and a little of that little is for me. But mostly i feel sorry for him.
Maybe this guy is a wounded bird? Either way, don’t matter. I can't date a guy I feel sorry for. And besides, his actions speak loud and clear.

I do not want to be with a man who is cold and shut down. Hell No!
When I re-read over the job description, no where in there does it say my king is anti-social.
Fuck this. I’m out!

So I tell him.
“This isn’t really working for me. I think its best if we just move on now. You see MY man, would want to be with me on the holidays. He is generous, kind and loving.”

Then he called me a Diva.

So I said, “ I’m not a Diva, but I am looking for love. Now, obviously I don’t expect for us to be in love after only 2 months. But I do need to see that that may be a possibility in the future. And, this…. is not leading there.”

He hung up on me, and I cried a little. I don’t think I cried because I’m sad that this is over. I think it was an emotional release that spontaneously erupted, once I spoke my truth. I mean to say to a man your seeing “I’m looking for love”. In the single world, that's some crazy shit.

We as women have been trained by men to behave as though we don’t care and are not looking for something serious. When most of us are. We have been trained to believe that the fastest way to lose your man is to tell him that you want to fall in love.
Well you know what...I'm done with that shit.
I want to fall in love, get married and have babies.
I am not afraid to admit it.
The more I write about it here, the more confident I get.
And, when the time is right, with confidence and grace, I can be woman enough to admit it to men. Because the position I’m trying to fill is full time with a long contract.
And I am looking for serious applicants ONLY.

All in all, I sit here even more grateful.
In my search for my divine king, I actually get closer and closer to the queen in me.
It is completely divine that my search for love would bring me into the arms of me.