He Fucking Cheated On Me

I still can’t believe it. I’m in shock.
How did I not see this coming?
Usually my intuition is right on, I have always known before. But not this time.

He invited me to his house, but when I got there he wasn’t even home. He has never made we wait around for him before. I’m not that kind of girl. Way to much going on in my own life.
Yet, here I am.

When he doesn’t answer the door, I call him, even though he had just called me 30 minutes before and told me to come on over now. He answered, and told me to go ahead in, that he’d only be a minute. So, in I go.

Straight to the bathroom, only to find an empty toilet paper roll, so a a few shakes and a drip dry later, I am throwing away the empty toilet paper roll in the kitchen trash and that is when I see it.

A used condom and torn wrapper in the otherwise empty trash bag.
WTF…………….

My heart races, my mind searches frantically for a reasonable explanation, but nothing comes to mind. The truth of the fact is that he must have JUST had someone else over. When? I hung with him 2 days ago, we spoke on the phone 2x yesterday. Was it in between the times he called me, or worse could it have been today? I saw him during the day, but we went our separate ways for a few hours.

Who could it be?
Is it someone I know?
Someone he’s been seeing all along?
Did he go out and pick up some floozy?

How can he do this to me. I call my best friend, and cant stop saying, “holy shit!”
I talk to her, we play it all out, and she asks me “Where is he?”.
That is a good freakin’ question!
I am now waiting 40 minutes. Again, WTF.

Do I stay and wait so I can confront him?
I can’t decide if I want to cry, throw up or trash his apartment.

I decide, that I can not wait another minute, even though I’d love to see his face when I ask him about this. Right now I just feel so stupid so I’m out of here.

So I take the garbage bag, and rip it open. I lay it right on the bed with that dirty ass rubber staring right up at him. Out the door I go.

I’m nearly home, when he calls. I can’t answer, I’m crying hysterically on the phone with my girlfriend. I feel so betrayed.

When I check the message, he only says “hey, why aren’t you answering your phone?”, and I can tell by the sound of his voice that he still doesn’t even know that I found it and that I am no longer waiting in his place. That bastard is still not home.

By that time, I would have been waiting over an hour.

Once, I’m home I settle in. A glass of wine or two, and I need to do do something to keep my mind busy. Hello Facebook. Perhaps some superficial banter can keep me from tormenting myself mentally for being the very thing I despise.
A weak woman. A victim.

But I guess it is the moments when we are the most vulnerable that we are able to receive the support and unconditional compassion from others.
That night out of no where an angel appeared.
An old friend from high school & college. A man, I used to see. We had Facebook chatted a few times, just to catch up over the past few months, but this time we really talked.

Three hours of IM, about love, life and everything else.
I’m not sure how or why, but in just those three hours I had more intimacy with this man whom I haven’t seen in almost 14 years and who lives 1000 miles away, then I ever reached in 3 months of dating The Boss.

Enter the Internet Boyfriend.
I have no idea if this is just a Divine Intervention or perhaps distraction.
But I'm very grateful for the company.

OHHH, and The Boss never even called me. No explanation at all. I text him the next day “You have nothing to say to me?”. And apparently he doesn’t because he never answered.

What a pussy. This speaks volumes about what kind of man he is.
A weak, pathetic and selfish one.
He was clearly not my King!